Breaking the Bonds of Shame

Shame. It’s the deep feeling of being unworthy, dirty or contaminated. It’s the thing that makes us want to hide away or cover up the truth. It’s that overwhelming feeling you get when someone is looking at you. Really looking at you. When it feels like they can see every flaw, every blemish and you cover your face and hide away in shame.

Shame can stem from what we’ve done or shame can stem from what others have done to us. Most have experienced it at some point in their lives, however some experience shame that is crippling, which they carry around like a cloak, hindering them from truly living the way God intended.

So what can we do with this disabling disposition? Firstly we need to recognize it and its symptoms in our lives and then it is up to us to decide whether or not to travel down the road that leads to freedom. It is our choice whether or not we continue to live under the cover of shame, continually crying out ‘unworthy!’ or ‘unclean!’ to anyone who tries to get close to us. Our other option, like those lepers who were outcasts of society – ‘unclean’, is to seek out the One who can clean us, make us as white as snow! (Matt 8:1-3, Luke 17:11-14, Isaiah 1:18)

A lot of us run into problems when we begin to try and overcome our shame. No matter how many times someone tells us we’re beautiful, we cannot hear it. Encouraging words bounce off us like our hearts are made of stone. We can receive no hopeful words from others. We cannot get over the feeling of always being unworthy. Well, to be frank, you are. We are all unworthy. Romans 3:23 says ‘for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,’ when we look at us compared to the glory and the splendor of God, we are nothing. We have nothing to boast about. We often try to overcome our shame by finding worth in ourselves! We try to find something to feel proud about. But that’s just it! Pride! Attempting to produce our own worth of ourselves is pride. Looking for self worth of ourselves is just feeding our pride, it does nothing to eradicate shame.

No, the only way to break the bonds of shame is to put our worth, our hope and our trust in Jesus Christ through whom we are justified. Romans 3:24 goes on to say ‘and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.’ We are to cling to His promise to free us from our sin and shame, and in doing so we can associate ourselves with the One who is worthy! We can rejoice in His goodness! We can boast in His righteousness! If we are in Him and He in us, we now can stand tall and boldly approach the throne of grace (Hebrews 4:16) without shame because of what He did for us! We should not fear to be seen or exposed because God has cleansed us from the inside out! We are whiter than snow! We are beautiful children of God! May your heart believe it!

“Instead of your shame
you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.”

– Isaiah 61:7