I pause my dialogue as I notice the older gentleman next to
me begin to go red and his eyes begin to water. “Are you okay?” I ask, thinking
he is choking. He merely shakes his head as tears begin to spill down his
weather-worn face. I remain silent, dumbfounded. I’ve known this man for over 2
years and have never seen him cry before. “It’s just so heartbreaking.” He
whispers as more tears splash down his cheeks. I pause and reflect. It is
heartbreaking, isn’t it?
I had just been telling him about the work I do with women
who’ve been sexually abused and sex trafficked. It has become so much a part of
my everyday life that I have begun to numb myself from the horror I encounter
daily. However, that does not stop the reality of how truly heartbreaking the
stories from these survivors are. The situations that millions of people find
themselves still in today. It is estimated that 70-90 % of sex trafficking
victims have been sexually abused as children prior to exploitation. Let that
information sink in for a moment.
For many children, the traumas of childhood continue into
adulthood. The trauma of their youth gives way to their mindset that “sex is
all I’m good for” or “I’m worthless”, “no-one could love me”. These thoughts
make them so vulnerable to sexual exploitation from pimps who know exactly what to look for, who know exactly what to say. I observed this
pattern happen in the movie Forrest Gump, which I originally thought was only about
the achievements of a boy everyone thought would never amount to anything.
Jenny, Forrest’s best friend from childhood, was sexually abused by her father
and she ended up being sexually exploited in magazines and on stages. She was
used and abused by men for years and years because she didn’t know her worth.
She didn’t know she was worth more than her father showed her. Her pain was so
obvious as she stands on the edge of the balcony, wanting to jump, or as she
sees her father’s house, years later, and begins to hurl rocks at it. All the
pain and anger begin to come out. 
I’m right there with her in that moment. I know many
survivors who are also feeling that same pain and rage. But the moment that
tears me apart the most, is the moment Forrest asks her to marry him. Forest is
obviously head-over-heels in love with this woman. Most would assume she would
say no because of his low IQ, but instead she says, “You don’t want to marry
me.” In her mind, someone so kind and loving could never want to marry someone
like her. She believes she is worth absolutely nothing. She believes she is
unloveable.
I once believed the same things. I once thought the same
thoughts. But God, in His great mercy, brought me to a point of healing where
the words of my now-husband broke through the lies. I was able to believe his
love for me as he knelt on one knee before me. I was able to shout above the
screams from my past, telling me that no-one would ever want me, and say
“Yes!”.
The reality of sexual abuse and sex trafficking is
heartbreaking, but I know a God who is in the business of healing the
brokenhearted. I know a God who brings beauty out of ashes. A God who can heal,
restore and set free the captives. Do you know Him?
“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed
me
to proclaim good news to the
poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the
captives
and release from darkness for
the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of
our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who
grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of
despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his
splendor.”
Isaiah 61:1-3
